It's important to remember that I grew up in an atheist household, yet I am not unfamiliar with the concepts of theistic devices, or belief structures, that inevitably make their selves known in the world. This is significant because, at a young age, I was given a skeptical approach to what could be called a spiritual inquiry. And through scientific methodology that was prominent within my family, I questioned all spiritual claims.
As I grew up, I was exposed to all sorts of ideas of spiritual practice and taboos. All of which, on its surface, seemed childish; like being afraid of shadows. Yet through that period I learned that life was guided in some degree by these ideas, and much of culture was influenced by it. And every point of scientific inquiry was, at various points, preceded by "old-world" beliefs. Beliefs that we still scrutinize today.
This is all nothing to say of how I lived through life with this approach, but it made certain elements quite clear of how others felt about the universe, and how they've come to accept or reject theistic devices. It wouldn't be until college where I would find my question to be expanded. It would be in Philosophy where I learned the depth of such a question, and in Anthropology, how old. And with the help of Nietzsche, and some other excellent writers and thinkers, I found a common thread that unites us.
It is the unknown possibilities, and our seeming isolation, that compels us to even begin asking such questions.
I found that I was not all, what I'd call, a Purist. I was not purely Christian, nor purely Buddhist, nor purely Pagan, nor was I purely Scientific as these Purisms imply; something of a shame for the pure skeptic. I've learned that I hold beliefs within me that I was not certain even had a name. Yet I believed in something, didn't I? Which lead to an odd and insightful conversation. "Do you believe true nihilism is achievable, considering the paradox?" It was a question, my dear reader, that was instigated by my dating profile.
I professed that I was a Humanist, and something of a nihilist.
It took a bit of homework and I began to settle for an answer. An answer that lead to far more pleasant exchanges, and lead to more questions. But the common thread we shared was the meaning of such beliefs. While I appear to backpedal with saying I am a nihilist, while being a Humanist, I mean to reach out to the question of, "What does it mean to be human?" It is a companion to the questions of our origins, and how what we believe shapes the world. Yet what structures did I myself uphold? What do I define to be human?
Does God have room in my universe?
It was then that I determined that I believed in other minds. A truly singular experience in many ways, but ultimately assuaged with the comfort of another's presence, and at times a recognition of such momentary exchanges. I thought to avoid answering these questions for a time, but as I've addressed earlier, it is a question that find myself strangling with: "Do you believe in a God?"
Why one?
Why the Christian one?
What happens after I die?
Do I believe I die?
Is dying real?
I haven't died to find out...
I heard Elysium is cool...
Other pantheons exist...
Why believe those?
What did they offer?
What are the requirements?
What if I fail?
Wait, what about reincarnation then?
Is Karma a thing?
Who keeps track of this stuff?
Hello?
What would God look like if I believed in him? It's a big question with seemingly endless possibilities. Perhaps the easier question is merely defining what it means to be human? And in that search, I've come to realize that Humans, as a species, has evolved on a speck of matter within an infinite universe. Its origins, as is ascertained with empirical evidence has a beginning, known as the Big Bang. Yet from that, I also run into the same wall of physics and metaphysical quandaries.
It is the common thread of the unknown possibilities, and our seeming isolation that still exists from that fundamental question of our origins.
Where do we come from, and is there a God?
The manifesto so far...
The greatest thing about science is that it has lead to some amazing insights into the mechanisms of the universe, and often speak on a truly spiritual level. It creates a oneness with the cosmos that be, and it opens the mind to a more beautiful interpretation of those endless possibilities. And like Spongebob, has a profound insight into the human experience, within the experience of putting our beliefs to paper.
But how do we know it's real?
Descartes talked about this...
Are you sure other minds exist?
How do you know?
What if this is the Matrix?
What happened before the Big Bang?
Did we decide we die...?
Oh no, not again...
Humanity, like the whale, flies through the universe asking ourselves to give meaning to everything and purpose. And when confronted with putting the idea of a belief like God to paper, it becomes an arduous task, and leaves me hanging with a tentative stance of agnostic belief.
It could be likened to a Schrodinger's-Wager.
I mean a Pascal's Cat.
That is while I believe I exist, and trust my senses (and empirical evidence gathered by them), I can never really be certain until such truths are perceivable. And as there is no living example of a divine presence (to my available knowledge), I must only treat the apropos texts for what they are: doctrines of human faith, as well as a code of conduct that leads to some betterment of their understandings of the universe, be it through material or spiritual inquiry.
And as I hinted at throughout this, is that it has lead to influencing our culture in various ways, and from having been relatively skeptic through my whole life, I may not be able to easily answer such a question, as I may be inclined to answer either way (based on the world around me).
Whether the question is meant to be truly answered at all remains to be seen.
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